Frustration...my old friend

It seems that no matter how much I pray or how many chapters of the Bible I read, the frustration placed on me from others is just overwhelming. Am I expecting too much or has the world become increasingly populated with stupid people? Hmmm, I am pretty sure I know the answer!

I really enjoyed our time up North this past week. We were able to relax and just enjoy ourselves! Tubing down the river, swimming and sunbathing at the beach, playing with the kids, sitting and laughing around the campfire at night, just absolutely wonderful! Thank you so much, Paul and Patty!

Now, if we can just get some of those around us to "get real." The world is full of people who have real problems, real illnesses and diseases, real life tragedies. Stop trying to suck up the time, resources, and yes, pity, these people deserve!!! Whew, that feels better.

Just to be normal ...

I'm afraid I haven't been very good with the few dollars God has blessed us with this month. I have been craving some normalcy in my life to the point where I felt I was going insane! The need to do the things we used to do was so overwhelming, I know I haven't been a very good steward. I am going to try my very best to be much more careful next month! I can't say I am too sorry. We really enjoyed our camping trip even though it was extremely simple. Rob and I also enjoyed a night out for his free birthday dinner. We haven't been able to do things like that since Rob got sick! Our little date was so nice! We ate at one of our favorite places and then just walked through the town and looked in some of the little shops. Rob did get a little over tired but, he did seem to really enjoy the evening. We even took some silly pics! I feel a lot less stressed than I did a week ago! So, it may seem like wasted money on the outside but, it feels like "salvation" on the inside!

I'm just so angry...

the last few days have just been so rough. I have been so angry and I am having a hard time figuring out why! I can see the things that seem to "set" me off but, they don't all make sense to me. I was so stressed out yesterday, I woke up between 3 and 4, took some tylenol, and then ended up having a seizure. I spent the rest of the day in bed with a terrible headache. Rob kept me up all night and man, was I irritated!

This morning, I got up, having only grabbed an hour or two at the most, and I was in a terrible mood. I am normally not a moody person! I just couldn't keep my emotions in check at all! If I wasn't crying, I was spittin' fire! For some reason, Rob's constant surfing of other church internet sites has just been bothering me. Our church is small, we don't get paid and seeing these big name pastors and all their "success" just feels like lemon juice in my very open wound right now. Another irritant is all the time Rob spends working on church stuff. I feel like I work hard to keep him healthy and to make sure he has everything he needs and wants and everyone else gets the few hours of "good health" he has to give. It sucks and I hate it. It is making me cranky. The lack of help around the house from the kids is making me angry too. Of course, today the girls were a huge help. I think they noticed the stress level was WAY UP! I try so hard to be organized but, no matter what I try, I just make a lousy wife, mother, and housekeeper.

I am just hating my life right now and I don't know how to fix things. Maybe tomorrow will be better but, I am not holding out much hope...