I feel as though my body is going on but "me", I, am watching everything that is going on. I have noticed that I am only doing those things that HAVE to be done. The dishes get washed, the important laundry is washed, meals are made, the kids are clean, I am clean and appear put together, the house is presentable. None of the projects that need tending to are done. The extra bedding and towels have piled up, the diabetes logs are empty, The extra bedroom is still not taken care of. The need to be near Rob is overwhelming at times and I am satisfied to just sit next to him on the bed while he sleeps. I have ceased to exist. The only thing that reminds me that I am alive is the nagging pain of my own disease. I have come to find comfort in the pain. It is my connection to reality. I know that things will better soon...
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